Plastic bags

So our wonderful Government want to ban plastic bags, or at least tax them to reduce their use. They say this is for environmental reasons, because marine life, notably Dolphns are being killed by plastic bags. I find this difficult to comprehend.
You see, I buy stuff from the supermarket. If it's less than a handful I don;t bother with a bag - I'm usually in the car, so it's no hardship to carry a couple of items to the car and put them on the seat, in the boot, or just eat them as I walk to the car. If on the other hand I am doing a major shop, then I tend to use carriers to keep associated items totgether, even though it then all goes back in the trolley then into the car boot. It makes loading and unloading easier. Now I wold happily reuse these cariers, but they are so cheap and flimsy that a single use is all you can reasonably expect. So far as I can tell they are already biodegradeable, they begin to decompose as soon as something is inserted into them.
Having emptied the ripped and strecthed bag I then effectively recycle it as a bin liner and it is filled with the non recyclable waste and put in the wheelie bin.
Now, I always assummed that the men came round with a dustcart emptied the bins into the back of it, and took it to a big hole in the ground where it was buried. Or possibly set alight. Not so. It seems these people take the bags of rubbish and feed them to Dolphins. How else could these poor creatures get them ingested into their stomachs? You don;t often see Dolphins foraging around the tip; Gypsies yes, but not Dolphins.
Another thought that occurs is that perhaps its Dolhons that tip my wheelie bin over at night and rummage through it - I'd always assummed it was foxes. Or perhaps the foxes are in league with the Dolphins? What have the Dolphons got over them I wonder?
Anyhow, aren't Dolphns supposed to be intelligent? Fancy a nice fish Mr Dolphin? No thansk I'll just eat some more plastic bags. Perhaps the Dolphins are so short sighted they can;t tell the difference between a Jelly fish and a plastic bag? Could be, they always appear to be squinting don't they?
So what is the answer? Glasses for Dolphins. So come on Tesco, never mind Bio degradeable carrier backs, introduce a scheme whereby you sponsor a pair of Dolphin Spectacles for every customer who brings their own bags.

Mice will take over the world

I have already written about the Educated rodents and their efforts to eat my caravan. This week I found they had attacked my car too.
The Citroen had been running well since the Brakes broke episode. Okay it let me down a couple of times on cold mornings when the veg Oil heater knocked the stuffing out of the battery before it started, but it was nothign a jump start couldn't cure - and long term the cure was a new 63 amp battery to replace the 40 amp hour that comes as standard.
I decided to treat the car to an oil and filter change, and a new fuel filter at the same time. Oil change completed in an inpressive seven minutes. Now for the fuel filter - to get at it you need to remove the air filter box - not a problem, 1 x 10mm bolt, pull it out of the location pin socket and hey presto sorted. Okay, I leaked diesel all down my arm and all over the engine, but next time I'll know about the bleed screw on the bottom. And the process to bleed the system so the engine starts again when yo have the new filter on.
So what has this got to do with mice I hear you ask?
Well, after this unparralled mechanical attention the Citroen became extraordinarily difficult to start. The battery was going flat again, and the car was just coughing and refusing to run smoothly. Had I upset it?
Realising that a full servive probably involved replacing the air filter as well i removed the filter box and swapped the filter for a new one. Well swapped suggests an exchange of items like for like, which is strecthing the truth a little. The air filter that went in had rubber ends, a steel core and a paper filter element around the core. The one that came out had ..... fragments of paper, most of which had blocked the outlet preventing the engine from breathing. I an only guess at mice, although how theygot into the air filter box to eat the filter is beyond me. Given their enginuity in getting into my caravan I wouldn't put anything past the little bastards. They probably had rope ladders, and training bythe Mouse equivalent of the SAS.
Any way witha new filter the car is starting and running fine again. i just don;t know if I shoud install a rodent alarm and protection system