Navy to rescue "Volcanoe Victims"

Makes a good headline doesn't it? The newspapers and radio news are sprouting this nonsense headline that our wonderful Royal Navy are sending three warships to rescue those stranded in Europe by the flight cancellations caused by the ash cloud from the Icelandic Volcanoe eruption.
Rescue? RESCUE! These people went by choice, by and large on holiday. They are hardly in peril. If anything they are getting an enforced extended holiday. What hardship they must be in, stuck in a holiday destination that they chose, because they wanted to go there. If the Navy are to be invovled they should treat the servicemen returning from Afghanistan as their first priority - they are all stranded in Cypus, and worse of all Spain, haven't seen their families in months and have been stuck in a hell hole being shot at in a place they didn't want to go in the first place.
Amongst the news comes a secondary headline that British Airways is losing a million pound a day (although insert your own figure here, as each account varies and is probably a made up number anyway) I can understand that they have staff wages to pay, which will cost tehm a little, but think of what they are saving on fuel! Plus they can get loads of maintenance down, repaint the airports, - use this time constructivley airports people. In fact if you are paying the airheaded hostesses, give them a paintbrush and see if they can get the same high gloss finish on the lavvy walls that they manage on thier fingernails.
Apparently BA are paying money to support passengers until flights resume, paying for out of pocket expenses and hotel accommodation etc. Excuse me? What exactly is holiday insurance for then? If I go on a trip I pay insurance for this very eventuality - it's not cheap, but that's the luck of the gamble. So far I've never needed it, but if I did end up stuck in Disney land for a couple of months AVIVA or their underwriters would pay for me to ride around the Buzz Lightyear rollercoaster until my arms fell off. And then they'd pay BUPA to stitch them back on again. So if some Schmuck has tried to save a few bob by waiving the insurance, tough luck. You gambled, you lost, you're living in a tent at teh airport and eating your own shoes, or you're walking back to England and better get a few lessons from God on how to walk on water. I see no reason why BA has any financial or moral obligation to you just because of a bit of ash in the air stops their aeroplanes from working properly.

Epitaph to Mervin

Mervin was tactfully and discretely removed to his final resting place at Drapers Scrap Yard yesterday. It had to be done whilst Thomas was out as he gets worryingly attached to old cars.
£50 changed hands and off he went to be turned into baked bean tins.
This means that over 18 months of ownership he has cost me a total of 30 pence a day to run. I bought Mervin to save money, and whilst on the face of it he has almost achieved that (30 p a day is hardly a major loss) he has probably saved me far more than that in the depreciation I would have suffered if I had done those Miles in the Zafira, not to mention the damage such use would have caused to the Zafira's interior, and the excess miles I would have incurred.
Now if only I can get a reasonable price on the starter motor and rear lamps I removed from Mervin before he was scrapped, I reckon I can break even. Which will mean I have had free motoring for 18 months.

R.I.P. Mervin

R.I.P. (Rust in pieces) Mervin.

That sad day has come when old Mervin the Courier van has finally popped his last backfire. His death came suddenly from a heart attack (Cam Belt failure) and he died as he would have wanted to go, hill climbing in the North Yorkshire Moors National Park, and lugging a load, albeit only two bikes and a couple of rucksacks.

He is of course, a parts donor, and hopefully he will help others live on after his death. His starter motor for example was reconditioned not so very long ago, and will breathe new life into some old Fiesta Diesel.

As this is in effect a sort of Eulogy for Mervin, let us remember a little about him. I first met Mervin in September 2008, when he was already an old and tired van. Having only a five digit odometer it was difficult to know how many miles he has covered he was showing 64675, but that could have had a 1 or more likely a 2 in front of it. Certainly he had been abused by his previous owner, a builder, who had left him looking like a skip, but his earlier life was more cossetted I suspect, with British Airways World Cargo Services. He was nursed back to good health, tidied up and given a new interior, and the all important Vegetable Oil conversion.

Mervin thrived on the veg oil, but devloped a taste for real diesel and the occasional sip of petrol this winter, but had recently returned to normal running on Veg.

In recent weeks he had suffered an increasingly noisy wheel bearing issue, for which I had ordered a new bearing only this moring. I was also going to treat him to new brake shoes at the same time.

Sadly, his health began to decline on the way to Goathland this morning, when after a bit of abuse on a single track road which I drove like a rally stage, he began to rattle a little under the hood, but I eased off and we reached Beck Hole with no problem. I expected the problem might be the oil a little low, but nothing serious.

Following an adventurous bike ride with Thomas, we returned to Beck Hole, loaded the bikes and set off up the steep hill out of the village. The journey was short, but eventful, as a loud bang signified Mervins death, the cam belt having snapped and we came to an ignobale end. Gravity and some careful steering with use of the rear view mirrors saw us gliding neatly into a parking space and from their, several hours later, Mervin was taken away by a motors equivalent of a hearse, a recovery truck.

In the 18 months in my custody, Mervin has cost a total of £1455.37, and covered approximately 11,583 miles. This includes the price of fuel, insurance, tax, Mot and all the servicing and repairs costs. That works out at 12 1/2 pence per mile. Given that my Zafira costs 14 1/2 pence per mile on fuel alone that is quite a saving - £231.66 pence just on those figures. Plus consider that Mervin has been used for runs tothe tip, and carrying furniture, doors, bikes - etc etc and saved the Zafira getting messed up, plus avoiding excess mileage on the car and the depreciation then it has been a very worthwhile relationship.

The salvage of any useful parts will also reduce his overall running costs. I mean there's still 3/4 of a tank of diesel in there for a start!

Thick and Thin

Readers of Steven King novels will be familiar with the concept of thinness - places where the gaps in the dimensions between universes are thinner, at certain times of year, or at certain places, or when certain events happen, and at which people or "things" can poush through from one dimension to the other. Purely hyperthetically of course. And entirely science/horror fiction.

Although Terry Pratchett, another writer also uses the thinness concept, Havelock Vetinari, for one, and several of the Assasins Guikld being able to stand still and melt into the background becoming invisible, or as near as invisible as makes no odds. Witches are good at it, Granny Weatherwax being the best, and Mr Teatime is also able to creep up on people using his thinning techniques.

This becomes of interst because there are occasions when I, and my car, become unwilling participants in the art of thinning. You would think that a grey and blue FORD Courier van, driven with the headlamps on even in daylight, (an advanced drivers habit) would stand out somewhat. Running on Vegetable oil, most people claim they can SMELL me approaching long before they see me, but the headlamps should surely make me stand out? Not so, on some days, it seems. Within a 3/4 mile stretch in broad daylight the other day I had not one, not two, but three people pull out right in front of me. I can only assume that I was having an unknowing THIN day. Both me and my van had become almost transparent. This in itself was perhaos pure coincidence. Bu thten I had a THICK day. Thsi is not a comment on my mental capacity. No a THICK day ios the opposiute of a THIN day, when you exist, not just in this world, but in others as well, the resutl I think being that you are doubly solid, and more here than before, having much more density and substance than is strictly necessary.

On the same stretch of road where I had been THIN only 24 hours before I had a THICK drive to work. I realised this as the traffic ahead of me was particularly heavy, as was the traffic behind me. Cars were approaching in lane two as I drove atteh speed limit 40 mph in lane one. The really wierd thing was that the cars speeding along lane two slowed as they approached me and would not pass or even coem close - they held back by about 200 yards. The cars ahead remained abotu 200 yarsd ahead - if I sped up the distance remained constant, and if I slowed down so did they. The result was a sort of force bubble exclusion zone aorund me, as if my van repelled any other vehicle. I have never experienced this before. I had a 200 yard exclusion zone around myself. I resisted the urge to see if I could deliberately ram into anything, but, you know, I'm not sure I could have done. Strange physics were surely at work. Even as I approached roundabouts, they became mysteriously free of other traffic.

This phenomenom needs more research. I want it ever day.

Chinky nears completion.

Those following the FIAT Cinquecento electric conversion may be please to know the project is nearign completion - or at least roadworthiness - I have a feeling this will be a work in progress once it hits the road, one of those projects which will be continually tinklered with until it breaks.

I took the plunge today as I had to take Jenny's Honda for a new tyre, so while I was going I stripped off the two dodgy wheels off the CHINKY and got new boots for them too. The front nearside was worn out and had a puncture. The rear nearside was worn right down tot he steel wires! I hasten to point out that I never drove it like that - that's the way it came to me on a trailer. Any £70 changed hands at EasyFix Tyres and for the first time since she arrived Scintilla now sits straight and level. Moreover she looks beautiful again, as I have replaced the wheelarch liners and the front bumper. (Beauty is of course in the eye of the beerholder)

I had charged the batteries in anticpation of a bit of a test drive around the private driveway, but I think one of the battery cells has failed, resulting in somewhat sluggish power output. She was reluctant to move at all in reverse at first, and only pulled half heartedly forwards, so teh dodgy battery will be replaced before the road trials commence. I am awaiting a shunt to wire up the ammeter and voltmeter, and then theres just a problem with the horn, hazards and headlamps to sort out before she's ready for MOT. (The heater/demister can wait until next winter - for now there will be a big hole in the bulkhead where the heater used to sit, whcih will allow pleanty of ventilation into the cab)

Maybe tommorow I'll post some photographs.

Who is the chinese poster?

I've just noticed, since I posted the "Stiff chinky" article I keep getting posts with Chinese Hieroglyphics (Pictograms?) as comments to my entries. What is that all about?

Sumthink went BANG!

As i sit here behind what is by now several hundreds of pounds worth of computer, sound system, monitors, USB drives, HDD drives, a turntable, video suite, cameras and various modems, printers and scanners, quietly typing away at a word document - the most inoffensive and least power consuming activity one can conduct on a PC something went BANG! A crack like a fuse blowing or something suddenly shorting.
I have no idea what it was - everything seems to be still working as normal. Even my solar powered lighting system is functioning. The shredder still works and the radiator is not leaking. Nothing shows signs of burning or overheating. But just in case it all goes in in flames and kills me in the night I want it on record okay? I checked everything.