Police and Crime Commisioners

Well, here we are at the start of a new error. We are about to replace Police Authorities, which work perfectly well and don't interfere with operational policing matters and have no political bias with Police and Crime Commisioners. Which won't, will and do. Only time will tell if this works or not.
In my local area I have seven possible candidates. So far as I can tell they are, in no particular order of preference or importance;
1. An elderly fat and ugly man who lives in  a castle, has a title and drives a number of Jaguars. He knows nothing about Policing. But believes he does.
2. A slightly younger equally ugly man who appears to hate policemen and is borderline racist and homophobic. He knows nothing about Policing. But believes he does.
3. An ugly woman who appears to be a plant watering tree hugger lefty socialist who will give away a third of her money in order to buy votes. She knows nothing about Policing. But believes she does.
4. A dull but seemingly capable ex-policeman who has too much time on his hands and is a failed author. He thinks you think he knows a bit about Policing. But believe me, he doesn't. He might have done 30 years ago, but that was then, this is now.
5. An ex local counsellor who admits he is already too busy to do the job but doesn't want the elderly fat ugly Jaguar driver to get it either. He knows nothing about Policing. But believes he does.
6. An unemployed ex-soldier who has a failed business behind him and thinks he will gain "the public vote" by wearing a T shirt during his campaign. Apparently though he does not have enough petrol in his car to get across the Humber Bridge, so in that respect he is indeed very representative of the common man. He knows nothing about anything. But believes he does.
7. A retired MP who will just take the money and leave things exactly as they are no because to rush in and make changes would be foolhardy. He cares nothing about anything. But believes you expect he does.

I have to pick two of these to vote for, a first choice and a second choice. So far as I can work out if my second choice gets more votes overall than my first choice he wins, even though my first choice might get more first choice votes. My biggest problem is that I can't even pick a single one of them, none are suitable for the job, but some are far less suitable than others. On that basis, the voting system should have been reversed. Vote for who you don't want, eliminate them, then deal with those that remain. A bit like that popular TV entertainment show X factory, I am lead to understand. In fact, had they gone down that route, we could have had 6 weeks of TV entertainment with a highly lucrative premium rate phone in vote which might have gone some way to paying the £75,000 salary for the new Commissioner. Worth a thought.

Whatever happens we are stuck with one of the above for the next four years. Could be worse. Not sure how though.