Plastic bags

So our wonderful Government want to ban plastic bags, or at least tax them to reduce their use. They say this is for environmental reasons, because marine life, notably Dolphns are being killed by plastic bags. I find this difficult to comprehend.
You see, I buy stuff from the supermarket. If it's less than a handful I don;t bother with a bag - I'm usually in the car, so it's no hardship to carry a couple of items to the car and put them on the seat, in the boot, or just eat them as I walk to the car. If on the other hand I am doing a major shop, then I tend to use carriers to keep associated items totgether, even though it then all goes back in the trolley then into the car boot. It makes loading and unloading easier. Now I wold happily reuse these cariers, but they are so cheap and flimsy that a single use is all you can reasonably expect. So far as I can tell they are already biodegradeable, they begin to decompose as soon as something is inserted into them.
Having emptied the ripped and strecthed bag I then effectively recycle it as a bin liner and it is filled with the non recyclable waste and put in the wheelie bin.
Now, I always assummed that the men came round with a dustcart emptied the bins into the back of it, and took it to a big hole in the ground where it was buried. Or possibly set alight. Not so. It seems these people take the bags of rubbish and feed them to Dolphins. How else could these poor creatures get them ingested into their stomachs? You don;t often see Dolphins foraging around the tip; Gypsies yes, but not Dolphins.
Another thought that occurs is that perhaps its Dolhons that tip my wheelie bin over at night and rummage through it - I'd always assummed it was foxes. Or perhaps the foxes are in league with the Dolphins? What have the Dolphons got over them I wonder?
Anyhow, aren't Dolphns supposed to be intelligent? Fancy a nice fish Mr Dolphin? No thansk I'll just eat some more plastic bags. Perhaps the Dolphins are so short sighted they can;t tell the difference between a Jelly fish and a plastic bag? Could be, they always appear to be squinting don't they?
So what is the answer? Glasses for Dolphins. So come on Tesco, never mind Bio degradeable carrier backs, introduce a scheme whereby you sponsor a pair of Dolphin Spectacles for every customer who brings their own bags.