Global warming - again.

I may have touched on this subject before as it is a subject relatively close to my heart - well it'sbollocks, and that's quite close to my heart.

Last time I wrote about it I think I sort of suggested that we nuke China, on the grounds that humans exhale CO2, and the increase in CO2 in the last century is roughly equivalent to the increase in the popoulation of China, therefore logically eradicating China eradicates global warming. I think I may also have relented slightly, suggesting that not all Chinamen are deserving of sucgh a fate, and that perhaps we could nuke Iraq instead.

Anyway, my point is that CO2 global warming is bollocks, the idea that cars and factories are choking the planet is ridiculous. It's natural weather patterns that are causing it, hence the last ice age and the gradual warming since. How else do you explain the glorious summer of 1939? The battle of Britain saw some of the warmest weather this century.

This week comes the announcement that Methane gas is a bigger cause of global warming than CO2. The majority of Methane of course is produced by cows. Suprisingly the Government has not introduced a cow tax, nor has it launched a media campaign to reduce the use of cows, nor have they got tough on cows or the causes of cows.

Last night on The One Show some wishy washy vegetarian suggested that global warming would be redued if we all stopped eating meat. In theory that sounds fine, less people eating cows, equals less cows, equals less Methane. But hang on, what do vegetarians eat, once they have worried all the lettuces and cabbages? That's right, they eat cheese and yoghurt. And they drink milk because they are too wimpy to consider beer as an alternative. Cheese, yoghurt and milk come from cows!

When you think about it cows are probably quite the most ecological animal on the planet. The give milk, which can make cream, or cheese, youghurt or whey, they can be made into steaks or burgers, and their skins are made into leather. And thier bones can probably be boiled down to make glue or something. Even their tails go into soup. The idea of recuding the number of something so useful is preposterous.

So, and here is my serious suggestion, if we are so concerned about the Methane these cows are producing, and the CO2 produced by cars, why can't we compromise? A car will run happily on Liquid Petroleum Gas, which is only a small step away from Metahane Gas. Surely science can up with a way of strapping a cow to every car to make it Methane neutral, CO2 Neutral and still able to provide burgers, steak, cheese, eggs, milk, cream, leather shoes, and superglue prior to it being scrapped for a new Mondeo under the Governments scrappage scheme?