OAP (Old Age Phone)

I’m feeling my age now.

I took Thomas to Cinema yesterday to see CARS2 and being the good citizen that I am, I switched off my mobile phone as I entered the Cinema Auditorium. Well, switched off is too strong a word, as I have never known quite how to do that. I read a little bit of the manual once, but as it is bigger than the phone I got bored. Apparently you should press and hold the red button, but after several seconds of nothing happening what I usually do, and what I did yesterday is remove the back, remove the battery and the replace it, the result being the phone is now off. Switching it back on is easy enough using the red button, and at least you can see and hear something happening, as the screen lights up and the annoying Nokia tune plays.

However, at some point between entering the cinema, probably in the dark corridor, and arriving at the North Yorkshire moors today I have lost the back off the phone.

This in itself is an annoyance, rather than a major problem. The phone is old, and parts are therefore cheaply available on Ebay. Some might ask why I don’t get a new phone with a camera, GPS SatNav, Ipod etc built in, but the answer is that I already have a very good camera, GPS SatNav and Ipod as separates, all of which work better independently than when you try and bundle them into a phone. And in any case, I bought this phone because it fits my car. Strange I know, but true – my car had a hands free kit fitted when I bought it, so I bought the phone to fit it. Simples!

What I discovered however when I tried to buy parts on ebay is that my phone is now described as “the Classic Nokia 2610” with references to “iconic simplicity.” This means I have inadvertently achieved cool status by my tightwad attitude to technology. My phone now sits in the same camp as Red telephone boxes, VW Beetles, the Sears Building, old school radiators, James Dean, the Kenwood Chef, Big Ben, Tower Bridge and Roast Beef with Yorkshire Pudding. And that’s a good thing.

But owning a classic phone does make me feel old. Should I now cherish it and only use it on Sundays? Do I get cheaper insurance on it? Do I have to limit the calls I make, like limiting the miles on a Classic Car?

Another thing I discovered whilst searching for old phone parts is that you can now buy proper old fashioned telephones, with bells and big Bakelite handsets and a dial on the front which have been reconfigured to plug straight into the modern BT fibre optic sockets and they will work! I want one for my office, and I want it now. In fact, I want two, a grey one for ordinary calls, and a red one for the urgent calls.