Where are the mens shoes please?

Is it just me or have mens shoes gone out of fashion? I've tried several shoe shops, plus that staple of sensible mens fashion "George" at ASDA, but all I can find is trainers and comfortable shoes that other men would like, if you catch my drift. I'm sorry but I refuse to wear silly crossover trainer shoes that have velcro fastners for five year olds and shout out to the world "I'm a lefty limp wristed office dwelling squeaky voice lisping shiny pants flower watering pinky homosexual and incapable of tying my own laces." The only shoes that are not softy shoes are safety boots. And I'm sorry, but unless you work on a building site that's even more Village People than the trainer shoes. Where are the proper mens shoes? I did manage to find a pair of simple black Oxfords, and a pair of brogues, but is that it? Go to the womens shoes department and you are faced with a thousand different styles, all of which are seemingly absolutely must haves. Ask my wife. She tries them all on. 
The same applies to mens clothes though. At the moment I find it almost impossible to buy anything I like. I can buy jeans, but cargoes, which I quite like seem to have disappeared. I'm not homophobic, I don't have any gay friends as such, but the jury is out on a few. Regardless, I find that when it comes to shirts, I can buy quite gayly patterned chequered shirts, the problem being they are indeed gayly patterned. Buying one would be like asking to be rogered. I can buy all sorts of shorts, shorts and T shirts all of which send out the wrong message. 
But what I need is the Gene Hunt collection. The sort of clothes and shoes that Jack Reagan wore. The sort of Terry McCann ensemble, that shouts I'm gonna punch you, hard, if you try it on. Not some flimsy thin cotton see through shirt and too tight pants, I don't want short sleeves that display my muscles, because I don't really have any. I have a punch that would take down a horse, but the muscles don't look good. And my knuckles don't look good afterwards either, because I'm not some sort of movie star I am a real person. What I want is real persons clothes. But all that the stores stock is trainers and sports wear. Which is pseudo ironic when it comes in XXXXL sizes.

It's over a month since I posted this and I still haven't bought new shoes. My soles are now so thin that if I stand on a penny I can tell you whether it's heads or tails. Roll on the Autumn fashions, because the summer range just ain't doing it for me.