My car has a cold.

One of the problems with my Vectra has always been the lack of heat. In the past cars were inefficient beasts that turned petrol into a little bit of power and a lot of heat and noise. Engines however have been getting more refined and efficient over the last few years partly because of the environmental argument (which is nonsense) that they damage the atmosphere, but mostly because of the price of fuel. The result is my Vectra will do up to 70 miles per gallon but generates little heat from the engine, certainly on my 22 mile commute to work a candle on the dashboard would be more beneficial. The problem is a big lazy engine turning a tall geared gearbox, resulting in the engine barley ticking over in 6th gear for most of the route. I could of course thrash the balls of it in third, but then all the efforts to maintain fuel economy and keep it quiet would have been worthless.
What it needed was an old school engineering solution - i.e. a bit of cardboard stuck up in front of the radiator. This would restrict airflow causing the radiator to heat up quicker, and thus the cabin heater would warm up quicker too. Clever huh?
A little too clever for my own good. Pulling out onto the main road today I noticed a distinct unwillingness to put power to the wheels, even though the throttle was wide open. Slipping into neutral revealed the engine would not rev past 2000 rpm. Examination shows that those clever boffins at Vauxhall made two air intakes, controlled by a thermostatic valve. In summer it sucks in nice cool air, and once the car has warmed up it also takes in warm air. But for cold running it takes air from behind the radiator, where it is warm. I think you can see where this is going. Yes, I had effectively strangled the car by blocking off it's air supply.
The effect is akin to hiking with a cold. It is not pleasant, but you can just about breathe between sneezes and snuffles, right up until someone asks you to sprint up a hill, which quite frankly just isn't going to happen. Air cannot enter your lungs, because the filter is blocked. It is of course well known that you don't catch a cold because you are cold, you catch a cold because it's a virus, and virus thrive in the warm if you dressed in summer wear you wouldn't catch a cold, you'd catch hypothermia.
And the same is happening to the Vectra - by trying to keep it warm I have given it a cold.