DIY Shopping

DIY Shopping - that is shopping in a DIY store, not doing the shopping yourself, as oppose to online and getting someone else to do it for you. Lets be clear about this as if I'd gone down the online route todays encounter could never have happened and I'd have nothing to write about.
 went DIY shopping today at a well known store which i will refer to as Q&B to avoid any unwarranted advertising. This is my preferred DIY store if I have to use one, as the prices are reasonable and everything is under one roof, except there aren't and it isn't, but that's the principle.
I needed sand and cement to mix up some concrete screed, and some paving blocks to finish off a small area I started last summer and never got round to completing.
Now it may seem daft  to drive what is effectively a 22 mile round trip to get these things from Q&B but I had the trailer on, having done a run to the tip, which is halfway there anyway, and more importantly I had no cash, and whilst smaller retailers will take card payments some make a surcharge, and in these days of austerity I can't afford to throw brass about.
Ironically I live a stones throw (well perhaps three or four stones throws) away from a working gravel pit where sand can be purchased by weight in the trailer for about 1/2 the price Q&B charge, but it is a cash only operation,  and I have no cash. I also live a matter of 2 or 3 miles from a Concrete casting company, who I'm sure would have sold me cement in a half tonne bag cheaper than Q&B, and just a mile or so further up the road is where they make blocks of all shapes and sizes. Allegedly, if you turn up before 9.30 or after say 4 pm when the boss isn't around you can buy "mishaped" rejects from the foreman for a consideration. I have seen the production process there, and the blocks that are produced are 100% out of the high tech moulds and production methods ensure there are never ever any rejects. So I reckon the foreman is earning himself a nice little drink, and good on him I say. In short, with a little time and thought and cash in my hand I could have undercut Q&B's prices and it wouldn't have taken that much longer. And I'd have been supporting smaller local businesses.
But, simply because I am cash starved Q&B it was. Now this superstore is, well, a superstore. I am not able to say how many double Decker buses, or football pitches it might be, these being the standard measure of all things large, but many would be my approximation. There is an entrance door, and an exit door. And then there is a door whcih used to be marked "Bulk Goods Entrance." This was towards one end of the building, where the really heavy stuff, and awkward unweildy lengths of timber and stuff are, so that you can park a van (or car and trailer) away from the elderly people buying energy saving potplants or whatever, and you don't have to push a fully laden trolley the full length of the store, avoiding footballers and reversing buses. It had it's own dedicated till, and a helpful member of staff woudl press the button and send the door shooting skywards as you left with your wares. This was a good idea.
The door is still there, but now has a small sign concealed behind a row of trolleys which says "Trade only" There are some other signs, saying open for traders etc, opening hours, special discounts and stuff like that, but to all intents I beleived it was still the same old bulk exit.
Arriving in the store with my hand pushed trolley I saw that sand (£1.44 a bag) was on offer cheper if you bought 10 or more. Fine I'll take ten then, at £10.70, whcih will save a few quid on the job. Still not as cheap as the quarry, but cheaper. Q&B don't say how much sand is in a bag. It is simply a large bag. Not exactly conducive to weight calculation for the job, but 10 would be ample I figured. They must be about 25 to 35 kg I reckon. So ten on the trolley, I've now got, lets say 300 KG on. Two bags of cement at £4.80 each add another 100 kg at least, and 26 blocks (34pence each) lets round it off to say 1/2 a ton now on the trolley.
Do I wish to push 1/2 a ton any further than necessary? On a trolley with wobbly wheels and a mind of it's own? I'd have destroyed half the store. So, I headed for the bulk exit.
At the till after a wait far longer than if I'd struggled on to the self service I eventually attracted the attention of a staff member. I will hesistatingly refer to her as she, although the gravely tone of her voive suggested she might have once been a man, and possibly will be again. She had a voice like a woman who chewed tobacco, possibly whilst still in the tin. It resonated so deep that humpback whales were diverting up the Humber. She demanded my trade card. I admitted I didn't have one. "This is for trade only" she barked. I politely enquired what difference did it make - if I didn't have a trade card then I gain no advantage other than being able to shortcut to where I had parked my car strategically near the door. Aha, she explains - the prices are different, because it's trade only. Now I may be Mr Thicky at times, but it strikes me that the prices are dictated by the bar codes, the scanner must read them and then the computer the till is linked to makes an adjustment and reduces the price. So simply override the computer so it doesn't bring up the trade price. She couldn;t do that. Okay, says I, Mr Reasonable, scan the goods, cancel the purchase print the receipt, I'll walk to the main tills and pay there then walk back and push the trolley out through the trade entrance. No apparently I can't even do that. Did I mention I am still recovering from recently badly bruised ribs? I was standing my ground here. It would have been easier to go and push my car and trailer to the other doors than to move this damn trolley.
Over the years, doing the job I do, I have had thousands or people say to me "I pay your wages!" Invaiably this is said by people on the dole, therefore not paying taxes, so it's blatantly untrue. But on this occasion I found the expression on the verge of forming itself on my lips. The woman thing was unmoveable, unhelpful and uncaring towards my partially temporal disabilty. I considered being a bit gay to see if that would sway her, but I doubt if even the full race card would have had any effect.
Fortunately a woman behind me in the lengthening queue came to my aid, and suggested that I might be a customer of hers and use her trade card. A common sense solution, particualry as I was now jammed in and couldn't reverse out without the whole queue dispersing and reforming again.
As she reluctantly served me, Mrs Jobsworth told me trade card were only for people registered as a business, tradesmen or people renovating a house, that sort of thing. I pointed out that I was renovating a house. It's the house I live in, called home, and given that it takes up more than 3/4 of my income and almost all my none working hobby time I'd say it was almost a business. The look she gave me had a similar effect to the Doctor approaching with a scalpel when I was vasectomised.
And the upshot of all this? Becasue I bought 10 bags pf sand I paid the same price as trade in any case, and saved a mere £2.30 on the remainder. Hardly worth arguing about, and I will remind you I wasn't trying to swing a discount, just the bloody door.
So, if by any chance Mrs Jobsworth of Q&B should read this, and she isn't too busy making her face up by sucking lemons, maybe it will put a smile on her face to know I'll be donating the cash saved to my favourite charity.