Quack recommends Duck Tape

I know that Britain is now a third world country and we have no money to spend on Transport, Law and Order, Education, Medicine viaducts or fine wines, or any of the other things the Romans introduced us to, but I didn't realise things were quite so bad as they seem in the NHS.
Daughter child has picked up a verruca at school, so we went to the doctors expecting him to burn it with acid or freeze it, both treatments being equally painful and something she was not looking forward to. Instead the doctor recommended that we cover up the warty appendage with duct tape. I explained that we had elastoplast in the house, and he needn't worry about the cost of a prescription, but no, he insisted we use Duct tape. Duct tape. Often referred to by a well known brand name of Duck Tape, this has many many uses. It is the tool of the Jedi handyman, having a dark side, a light side and being a force which holds the universe together. But I had never thought of it before as a cosmetic coverall. Covering up the verruca and hoping it would go away just didn't seem like a modern approach to medicine. I thought for a moment the doctor was taking the mickey. Then I thought maybe he was maybe a witch doctor practising traditional remedies, but no he was definitely white European and probably English, although he was clearly talking gibberish.
As it turns out the old treatments of burning and/or freezing only had something like a 40% success rate whilst 80% of verrucas and indeed many other viral warts can be cured simply by covering them with duct tape. It seals them off and starves them of oxygen that they need to survive. It sounds uncomfortable, but girl child reports that it is actually quite cosy and she doesn't notice it after a while. Which is just as well, as the tape has to stay on 24/7 for the next couple of weeks at least. Elastoplast or other types of dressing just don't cut it, it has to be Duct Tape.
So there you go, another use for duct tape. And a good excuse for having it in the boot of the car when plod stops you and thinks you are on your way to kidnap someone - Honestly officer, I've got a verruca.