A few years ago we all laughed at the Billy Connelly routine where he related the tale of a neighbour with poor eyesight who they wickedly suggested should buy a prescription windscreen. Well, I have now reached the age where this is not as funny as it once was.
I now need reading glasses.My distance vision is perfect, I can see distant objects, no problem. I mean, the sun is 93 million miles away, and clouds permitting I can see that perfectly. Even my night vision is good, I can see stars even further away than the sun. But give me a copy of the Sun and all I can do is look at the pictures. Sorry, not a good analogy that one is it, all that anybody looks at in the Sun is the pictures. Okay, give me a book and it goes all blurry. I was given a choice - either surgery to lengthen my arms, or reading glasses. I chose the glasses.
Now however I have discovered another issue. I don't need glasses for driving. But then again I do. I can read a number plate at the statutory 20.5 metres, no problem. I can read road signs, no problem. But the dashboard is a ll fuzzy. If I squint for long enough I can read it, but by then I have driven into a bus. So, I know that it is a forty limit, but have no idea how fast I am going. This would not be a problem if I only drove one car all the time, as I would know where 40 was on the dial, even if it is fuzzy. But I don't. I can sometimes drive 7 or 8 different vehicles a day, all of which have different dashboard layouts, and some have km instead or as well as mph. Some even have digital dashes, which make no sense even when I can read them. I have worked out that green dashboard lights are simply information, whilst amber are warnings and red are serious warnings, but without my specs a red amorphous blob means nothing. I might have left the handbrake on, or the engine could be on fire. Which is it? No idea.
With my glasses on, the dash board becomes clear and the road ahead and signs are easily readable, but I find myself leaving about a mile and a half between me and the next car and panicking if someone comes between us because, crikey, that was a close call.
The solution is to wear my reading specs on the end of my nose so the dash board is clear but everything else can be seen over the top of the specs. It's either that, or a prescription dashboard.
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