Election Result

The British public has spoken - but we're not quite sure what they had to say.
As I have said before, I don;t profess to understand politics, - Jeremey Clarkson was my choice, but he wasn;t even on the ballot paper.
The result of the voting is that the Torys pulled in 306 seats, Labour 258 and the Liberals 57. Oh and a Green person got one too. To any sensible person, regardless of their politicl views, this should mean the Torys have won. But apparently not. Because more people voted against them than for them, this means they lose. How does that work? As I understand it 65% of the electorate turned out to vote. Meaning 35% didn't. So in actually fact the proportional representation system ought to mena that as the overall majority of people did not vote for an elected representative in parliament, then we shouldn't have one at all. The Prime Minister should be a silouette, like when you don;t upload your photo to Facebook. He should just be an icon. An image that does nothing and says nothing. He should in fact be the Stig. Sorry Jeremey, you've been upstaged by your own creation.
Apparently some people are upset as they couldn't get to vote because of the current voting system. 15 hours wasn't long enough to get 65% of the public through the polling stations. Thsi is because of the muppets employed to run the polling booths. Our local village hall was used for ours, and equipped with four booths. I don;t know why it had four, because we had two staff workign as a team to issue the ballot papers. It goes somethign like this. You hand your card to muppet number one, who then asks for your voters number. I am not a number, I am a free man! I don't know my number it is written on the card I have just handed to first muppet. First muppet then tells me my name. I agree with her. I know my name. It to is written on the card I have just handed her, hence she now knows my name too. Actually, as she works for the rest of the year in the local library she already knew my name anyway. She then reads my number to muppet number 2 who checks my number and writes it down, while muppet number 1 crosses my name out on the electoral roll list. She takes quite some time to find me, despite me living in a village with only two dozen streets. She then hands me my card back and a ballot paper is pushed at me by muppet number two. My wife, attempting to speed along the process gives them her number before handing over her card. This confuses them, and they have to ask her for it again, then tell her her name and repeat the performance again. My wifes number is one digit higher than mine, her address is the same, and her surname is also mine, yet for some strange reason the muppet has to go to the start of the electoral register and go through page by page agin until she findas her name and crosses her out. Amazingly she lives at the same address as me and is directly under my name.
No wonder the process takes so damned long. I wonder why they gave us four booths, when the process only allows one person through at a time. I can only suggest that some people arrive at the polling station determined to vote, but still undecided as to who to vote for. Either that or they are so thick they need time to find their candidates name on the list. We hada choice of about 8 I think, and all but one had a symbol next to them depicting the party they represented - so that people who couldn't read the name could recognise the picture. Only the independant candidate didn't have any emblem, probably because he couldn;t think of one on hsi own. Or maybe it was a ploy to capture more votes from the stupid.
At least we do know why 35% of the electorate failed to vote. It was nothing to do with tactical voting, inabilty to get into the polling booths (despite the best efforts of the muppets) or apathy. No, it was because they were too embarrssed to let anyone know that in broken Britain, educatiobnal standards are so bad they can't even spell X.

News that a Japanese Viagra Factory went into production overdrive at the news that Britain was having a General Election are grossly exagerrated.