Poor driving is sexy?

Rock ‘n’ Roll artists and film stars have a bad press when it comes to motoring. James Dean and Marc Bolan being just two of those whose lives were cruelly cut short due to traffic collisions.


But it is hardly surprising when you look at their driving attitudes. Roy Orbision showed a very poor regard to driver fatigue when he drove all night. Okay the song doesn’t relate as to whether he had driven during the day as well, but even so to drive all night without a break is just asking for trouble. He wasn’t even concentrating that much on his driving, day-dreaming of the girl he was going home to. We don’t know from the lyrics what he was driving, I hope it wasn’t a goods vehicle, as he would have been in serious breach of tachograph regulations. And what justification did he have for this reckless driving behaviour? Sex. As he later admits in the lyrics to waking the subject of his song in her room to make love.

But what was his alternative? Gene Pitney was only 24 hours from Tulsa, on his way home to his darling, when he made the very sensible decision to stop for the night at a roadside motel. And promptly fell for a stranger, who he shagged and now can’t go home again. Sex again.

Jerry Lee Lewis of course promoted driving at excess speed in his song Maybelline. In this he is racing a Cadillac Coupe de Ville in an undisclosed model of Ford. The V8 Ford has an overheating issue, but this does not deter him from thrashing it. First he drives both bumper to bumper and side by side with the Caddy at 95mph. Frankly this is dangerous and he should have lost his licence for it. But he pushes the Caddy up even faster to 104 before his Ford starts to lose it due to the heat. It then starts to rain, which cools down his motor, presumably he is driving something with no bonnet, but even in the wet he continues to drive at stupid speeds. He refers to the Caddy sitting like a tonne of lead doing 110 half a mile ahead, before then appearing to stand still, suggesting he is doing well over 130 as he catches up with it at the top of the hill. Excuse me? An old Ford with an overheating engine pulling those sort of speeds uphill? And how the hell did the Caddy Landbarge achieve that sort of speed? I think he was exaggerating a bit, but the point is his listeners may well have thought it was socially acceptable to drive in this manner. And why was he chasing Maybelline in such a reckless manner. The song doesn’t say, but I bet it’s sex again.

I’m sure there are other similar examples of pop stars and cult figures glamourising fast cars and dangerous driving. What did Prince have to say about his pretty little red corvette? I don’t know the lyrics, but I bet they don’t include always wear your seat belt, don’t speed and don’t use you mobile whilst driving. I know there’s something in there about parking sideways (a Handbrake turn perhaps) and certainly the general impression is the car is driven way too fast.

It seems to be mainly American musical culture which promotes the negatives though, although there is probably good reason for this. British cars, on the whole, are not glamorous. Nobody ever sang about his pretty little red Capri, the Ford Cortina remained unsung and the Austin 1100 would be very difficult to place in any lyrics.

Perhaps this is why British musical/car culture is more tamed. Freddy Mercury of Queen had a very relaxed driving style in the 70’s, probably because he was in Love with his car and didn’t want to risk damaging it. Although it includes the lines “Get a grip on my boy racer roll bar, Such a thrill when your radials squeal.” I suspect that the roll cage was simply a safety device for show, as British cars of the 70’s just weren’t racers, and the tyres were squealing because they were cheap imported Chinese rubber, or because they lacked tread due to the lack of money at the time. He cruised in overdrive, not only a safer style of driving but more economical too. Is this perhaps because he was also a cyclist, wanting to ride his bicycle, and therefore had a vested interest in road safety? He certainly did his bit to promote the drink drive campaign in the eighties, although his message was somewhat mixed. Don’t drink and drive your car, good advice Freddy. But don’t get breathalysed was a bit controversial – was he suggesting you should refuse to take a roadside test? Don’t lose you head was fine though, a sterling warning against the folly of road rage.

Madness of course enjoyed driving in their car too, even though it wasn’t a Jaguar. It was some sort of Morris built in 1959 for the GPO, so possibly not a car at all but a Morris Minor Van. They do confess to driving at 58 on the A45, but I suspect the speed limit was higher back then. Rather than reckless driving there is an element of neglectful lack of maintenance though, because the tyres are allegedly a little worn, and Suggs even says he enjoys driving it with a flat tyre – not big or clever.

Jasper Carrott perhaps showed a little of the spirit of rebellion with his classic Funky Moped, which still rings true today. He might only have had a 50cc hair dryer on wheels but the attitude found in teenagers back then still rings true today – no ones gonna tell me where to go, no! I’m gonna ride, ride, ride. He did however have the good sense not to ride it until his front mudguard was repaired. And as a result the object of his desires went off with the lad on the pushbike.

The point of this post is wasted on me now, but I seem to have created an argument that poor drivers lead a better sex life.