Feeling unwell? - see an internet.

I have recent been unwell. Not "out of sorts" or "a little bit under the weather" or even suffering from "a low mood." No I was proper poorly, with pain and everything.
This started with what I at first suspected to be a mere pulled muscle with a nagging dull pain in my left shoulder, but after a couple of days it was spreading up into my neck and down my arm. At the same time I noticed the spreading pain I also noticed what looked like an infected spot on my shoulder, with a raised swollen area around it which developed into a rash. Being a man I had two options, ignore it, or admit I had cancer. I chose to ignore it. Some people pop pills like kids eat smarties, but I rarely resort to painkillers, and the pain was tolerable but inconvenient. Maybe I have a high pain threshold, I don't know but I was coping, and not really concerned until I lost the feeling in my fingers and couldn't really lift my arm, plus my head was starting to feel to heavy for my neck to support. Lying in bed that night it occurred to me that the swollen area, which had now developed into a rash spreading round to my chest, and the pain, might be related and in a moment of epiphany I realised I had shingles. How I knew this I am uncertain, it just came to me as I lay in bed in pain and unable to sleep.
First thing when I woke up I got on the internet and looked up Shingles, and after a few misguided moments looking at slate roof tiles I found what I was looking for. My symptoms fit perfectly. Now I am wary about using the internet as a diagnostic tool and wouldn't recommend it to anyone of a nervous disposition, because if you are easily lead your symptoms can fit any condition and you will convince yourself you will die before lunchtime. But as a sort of guideline to see if it is worth seeing the doctor or not, or whether you should skip the middle man and get straight onto the funeral directors, it is useful.
More useful than it might seem in fact, because it is much more accessible than a doctor.
I live in a reasonable size village which operates a satellite surgery to the main practice in the nearest market town. The satellite surgery serves our village and several smaller villages nearby, perhaps 2000 to 3000 patients at a guess. There is a surgery held there each weekday morning except for when I am ill, which is very rarely, so the doctor must have some sort of precognitive power to know when I may need him so he knows to take the day off. Not a problem, I drive, and the main surgery is only 7 miles away, with many doctors, who  can't possibly all take the same day off.
Appointments are arranged by telephone, or possibly by telepathy, as they are all fully booked when you ring for an appointment. The earliest they can fit you in is in three days time. How are you supposed to know you will be ill three days in advance? If I had gone when my symptoms first presented themselves I'd have been sent home with a pulled muscle. And felt to feel small, like a whingeing time waster.
Having read my online interweb doctors advice i knew I ought to seek treatment within 72 hours, so I needed an appointment sooner, and asked if I could come in and wait for a cancellation, or on the off chance a doctor might see me if he saw my condition. no problem, I could come to the emergency surgery. Excuse me? So what you are saying then is that all the people who have taken up the appointments don't really need to see the doctor - they are just popping in for a chat? The surgery should only be for people who are ill surely? And you should score an appointment on a merit basis. If you saw the doctor only last week, that should be it, you should have to wait a month until you qualify for another appointment. I last saw my Doctor in 2003, and that was only to give him a speeding ticket, so I should qualify for an immediate appointment......... although thinking about it maybe that's why I have such difficulties - he's blacklisted me.
Anyway, I booked an "emergency" appointment and went and sat amongst all the fat elderly ladies who smelled of wee, cats or cat wee and who all looked remarkably like fortune tellers, which explains how they knew three days ago they needed an appointment. "Hello doctor, I seem to be suffering from a touch of Clairvoyancy......"
Eventually, after all the young mums had jumped the queue by making their infants cry to gain sympathy I got to see a doctor. He was a nice chap, possibly Asian or Indian but a third or fourth generation migrant I suspect and he spoke English without a trace of an accent, which was refreshing. The last thing you need when you are ill is to have to speak to your doctor through an interpreter. He even had the traditional doctors manner "What seems to be the problem?" Well, you're the doctor, you tell me. I gave him a brief synopsis of my symptoms and told him I had shingles. He agreed. Then he told me I was too late to get any treatment and sent me home. Although first he asked what I had been taking for the pain. He seemed impressed when I told him I hadn't taken anything. And he suggested paracetamol or Ibuprofen. This was a step forward for medical science so far as I was concerned because my childhood doctor always prescribed me Penicillin, no matter what the complaint. Ironically it turns out I am allergic to Penicillin, so he was killing me with kindness. Or perhaps not - I seem to remember he drove a fast SAAB, so maybe he was just trying to safeguard his licence.
So in summary, having paid many many pounds in tax to fund the NHS it seems I am outranked in my needs for service by a geriatric palm reader, and that access to an internet is more valuable to me than a man who spent at least seven years at university studying medicine.
I can recommend http://www.patient.co.uk/ because that's the website used by the doctor. And to think it took seven years for him to learn how to use it, and I found it within three minutes. I reckon that makes me a surgeon.